


𝑲𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒏'𝒔 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚

by Stardust754



Category: Tomb Raider & Related Fandoms, Tomb Raider (Movie 2018), Tomb Raider (Trinity), Tomb Raider (Video Games)
Genre: Brother-Sister Relationships, Depression, Grief/Mourning, Memories, One Shot, Other, Pain, Rise of the Tomb Raider, Shadow of the Tomb Raider, Siblings, Slice of Life, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-12 17:07:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28638996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stardust754/pseuds/Stardust754
Summary: Before Rourke and Dominguez found Konstantin, he was living his sad life without his sister. Addition to 'Wicked game' as an explanation for some of his actions.
Relationships: Ana/Konstantin (Tomb Raider)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	𝑲𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒏'𝒔 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚

**_“I’ve never dreamed that I will lose you.”_ **

Walking through the cold, empty streets, the blond-haired man took every new step slower than the previous. He let delicate raindrops to fall upon his rugged face. Each one hit his face softly, awaking new memories that played in his head, and every echo reminded him of how lonely he was feeling.

He missed her. Every second of the day, every morning he falls asleep, and every night he would wake up. Sometimes, he would think that he heard her voice somewhere close. In that case, he would stay for a while in one place, searching for her with his eyes. When she would not appear, he would be hit with an overwhelming sadness. Konstantin wasn't the type of man who would cry. Holding up his tears, he would swallow, feeling the pain in his dry throat, and continue his previously cut actions.

It was all in his head, which would play with him most cruelly. Used to hear his sister's voice, knowing that she was dead for almost a year, his mind replayed it like a broken record. Kicking a nearby empty bottle with his foot, he dragged his legs lazily towards his building door. After he remained alone, he sold their little apartment and decided that he needs to move as far as he could from the old neighbourhood.

The room he rented was small, sad, and for the most part, cold. He lacked the sense of coldness, so he did not mind it too much. His morgue job would not let him afford better than that room anyway, since he spent his money from an old apartment on Ana’s funeral.

_He got informed when he woke up from the operation that she was dead. From that day, the grain of emotions he held in his heart died for good._

_Getting out sooner than he should from a hospital, he organized his sister's funeral. It was a private funeral for the most part, except for the priest and…Rourke. Rourke. He was there, standing next to him, holding his shoulder as they let down the coffin in the hole. Konstantin wanted so badly to jump inside with her, to remain there for a while, just hugging the wet wood._

_It was so strange since he was about to prepare himself for an expedition in Mexico, and he was in a hurry. But there he was, showing up out of nowhere and saying how sorry he was, even though they never liked each other._

_“Be strong”, said Rourke, securing him with his arms and preventing him from jumping in._

That rainy day stayed carved deeply in his mind.

Kicking his boots from his feet, he showed them at the end of the room, making a muddy trace on the old wooden floor. The sun was rising, as always when he would end his shift and reach his place. With exhausted hands, he proceeds lazily to take off his old coat. Feeling the musty smell of the walls, he opened his small window for a while to let inside the fresh morning breeze.

There were not many people in this area, especially that early, so he enjoyed his solitude. His bed was also pretty small. He used to hate it at first, but he got used to his feet peeking out of it.

Not that he had a much better life before, but now he felt like he could not see a brighter future either, so he didn't saw a point in making his life comfortable.

Throwing himself on the bed, he took a deep breath as the new memory appeared before his eyes.

_Ana was screaming in her sleep in the room next to his. He woke up abruptly and quickly jumped from his bed, running to her. Opening the door, he found her snuggled in her sheets, crying. He hugged his sister and held her tight._

_“Shhh…it was only a dream…”, he would whisper to her._

_“It was the same nightmare…”, she said through her tears._

_“I know…”_

_“I don’t want to lose you…”, cried Ana, sniffing._

_“You will never lose me…I will be here, by your side. Forever.”_

_"But what if we fail? What if I die?", she asked, and her brother closed his eyes as he gripped her tighter._

_“There is nothing that will stop me from helping you. You are the most important thing to me in this world.”_

_“I am sorry for being a burden to you…I miss our old days, when I was healthy and when I could help you out more. Now…I feel like I am hanging on the edge of my life.”_

_“Don’t say that. You will live, Ana. We are getting closer to find your cure with every new day.”_

_“I know. You know that I love you, brother. Thank you for caring for me…even If I was not the best sister before.”_

_Konstantin never knew how to return her when she would tell him that she loves him, so he would end up quiet after that._

_Holding his fragile sister in his arms, he kissed her scalp, inhaling her hair scent. He smelled the cigarette smoke in it._

_“We have talked about your smoking addiction. Have you made some progress in cutting it?”_

He got moved by this scenery in his head and proceeded to take cigarettes from his small night table, showing slowly one in his mouth.

Lighting it, he pulled a smoke and closed his eyes, letting the memory overflow him again.

_“Yeah, I am trying. It is hard.”_

_"I know that it is, but you need to think about your health first. Remember what the doctor said? The more you smoke, the closer you are to lose the battle. Please… try to think about it when you are in the temptation to light one."_

_"I know… I will try…can you stay by my side tonight?", Ana pleaded. He nodded and snuggled her closer until she fell asleep._

_He observed her face like he was trying to protect her from the bad dreams she would frequently have._

Closing his eyes, he thought: ‘If I only could save you…God took you too early from me. It’s not fair.’

The ash from his smoke fell on his shirt, and he cleaned it with his hand, showing it to the floor.

He instantly remembered Ana again, talking to him to stop being messy. A small smile formed in the corner of his mouth as he remembered their childhood.

He was never a clean person. He did not simply care about it, unlikely his sister, who would freak out for the smallest things.

_When they were 10 and 7, he would leave food marks on his clothes all the time and get into trouble later. Growing up in Trinity, his sister and he never knew what parental love looked like. Many random people would teach them, dress them, wash them, and feed them. Most of the time, they would yell at them, repeating that Trinity soldiers are better than what they were at that moment._

_At the age of 18 and 15, he would leave his stuff all around their small bedroom and rebel against his sister’s words, not dealing with his puberty in the right way. Although he was older, she was always right. When he started noticing other girls, she would always have something nasty to say about them. They were not religious... this one has ugly hair, the other was too fat…and he listened to all of that, believing she knew the best because she was a girl herself._

‘She was so jealous that she would lose me…’, he concluded.

_When they reached 26 and 23, he got promoted to a commander. All the hard work paid off, and he was exceptional. The best among people his age. He remembered that he had a slob on his white blouse that went underneath the blue uniform that he wore for his ceremony._

_“Where did you get that?”, asked Ana, scrubbing his dirty shirt with her nails slightly._

_“It doesn't matter. It will be seamless under the suit.”_

_“You will never change, won’t you?”_

_“You know me the best.”_

_Ana smiled and hugged her brother tightly, inhaling his cologne. He could see on her face that she was proud. Caressing the stigmata on both of his hands, she made an unknown expression that he did not decode till this day. It looked like regret, happiness, and fear, mixed in one._

_"I am glad that we are making such great progress. Don't forget that God gave you these for a reason, brother. I trust in you."_

_He remembered how proud he was at the ceremony when he got a Trinity badge of the first order and a plaque with his name. Others were clapping, but there was also a lot of jealousy on their faces._

Feeling a migraine spreading through his head, he got up from his laying position, searching for something to eat.

He was never big on cooked meals, so he preferred meat and canned food most of the time. It was not healthy at all, and he knew it. Finding a canned bean, he opened it and stabbed a small metal fork in it. Not even realizing how hungry he was, he ate it almost immediately.

Working at the morgue made him nauseous and mentally tired, so he would forget to eat there. Weight loss was one of his new problems. He lost a lot of muscle mass, and his clothes were hanging on his body.

Not that he looked anorexic, but rather like a homeless man who has no food. The sharp features on his face were more than visible, making his jawline stick out more than usual.

'Ana would be so mad if she saw me…'. 

_He remembered how fragile she was looking, most of her life. She was naturally skinny, and she struggled with weight gain._

_When they were required to pass basic combat training, she was so scared to the point where she would cry. Asking him for help, he agreed and trained with her almost every day._

_"It's easy for you to do that... you are muscular…", she said as she held her guard._

_"Ana, you need to punch me! You can't keep on avoiding it, forever", he said to her with a concerned voice._

_"I can't punch you because it doesn't feel right!", she protested._

_“You won’t hurt me…just give it a try!”_

_“Are you sure?”_

_“Yes!”_

_Ana got closer and tried to hit him, but he blocked her hand with ease._

_“This won’t hurt anyone…more force!”_

_Trying to hit him again, he allowed her that time to reach him but stayed in one place, barely feeling her fist on his abs._

_“Still too weak…”_

_“Maybe I am just useless…”_

_“No, you are not. You are afraid...”_

_“…that I am not good enough, I know already what are you going to say. I can’t help it... the physical stuff is not for me."_

_After failing the test, they offered her to convert her further studies as a spy since her grades were the highest in almost every field of study they had. It made them both happy since they knew that Trinity would let go of anyone who doesn't pass the physical test._

_Konstantin passed it with the highest grade. His extraordinary strength left the judges and mentors speechless._

_From that moment on, his classmates feared him._

Multiple children's voices cut his thoughts as he looked through the window. They were screaming and running around, chasing each other. He could hear a boy asking one of the girls if she wants to be his girlfriend out of the joke. The girl continued to run in a circle laughing.

_"I would like to get to know you better since I am new here. I am commander Rourke. Freshly out of the US special forces.”_

_His sister sat a little further from the man, looking at him like she has seen a ghost._

_"So, are you single? I mean, we are not supposed to discuss this since we just met, but I am curious."_

_“I’m sorry, my brother would not like to see us talking”, she answered as she turned her attention once again to her thick book on leadership._

_“Oh, he will not know. Are you afraid of him?”, asked the guy as he dragged his chair to sit closer to her. Ana noticed him and stood up to leave._

_“I am not comfortable with this conversation.”_

_Rourke grabbed her forearm and stopped her in her track._

_“I am sorry…just please, tell me your name…”_

_The sound of despair in the guy's voice made his sister even paler, and he decided to step out since he observed the scene from a distance for a while._

_“Let go of her hand”, ordered Konstantin, and the man furrowed his brows as he did what he just said._

_“Who are you to tell me?”_

_“I am her brother. Don’t you see she doesn’t want you near her, scumbag?”, asked Ana’s brother as he stood next to her._

_Rourke got closer to his face, making an angry grimace._

_"What did you call me just now? Do you know who you are talking to?"_

_“Do you know who you are talking to?”_

_“Some jealous psycho, I guess!", yelled the man._

_"Don't yell at me. This is your last warning. And leave Ana alone."_

_“Ana? So, this is your name? Tell me, Ana, how many relationships were destroyed because of your possessive brother?", he asked as he stepped closer to her._

_At that moment, Konstantin took her hand and pulled her behind him, screaming from the top of his lungs in protest._

_"She decided on her own! You are not here to judge anyone! As a commander, I order you to turn around and walk away before you get sued and sent to the military court!"_

_The guy smiled at Konstantin’s face, just an inch from it._

_The High Council walked inside, making everyone stand up. Rourke tapped on his commander badge on his own uniform to show him that he was important as well and turned around to walk away._

_“We will see about that, ‘commander’ ”, he said quietly._

That made his chest fill with an unusual burning sensation, so he closed the window and pulled away to sit on his bed to calm himself.

Opening the nearby drawer, he took out some painkillers, which he took for a couple of past years.

It bothered him how those memories affected him and how his mood was swinging and changing so fast. Refusing to pay a visit to a psychologist to conquer his daemons, he continued to take that pills, believing that he felt better after them.

‘If I ever see this bastard again, I am going to cut his dick off.’

Putting away his pills, he noticed his old gun inside of the drawer. It was in the same place where he put it a couple of nights ago when he had a crisis.

Usually, when it would happen, he would feel lost and unwilling to continue living. He would procrastinate on the value of his life while holding the gun. In a couple of conversations with himself, he was close to ending all the suffering that suffocated him daily, so he put the gun barrel on his temple, counting seconds till his death.

'Is this going to be painful? Am I going to be with Ana again? I should have done this the last time I tried…'.

And just like every other time, when he was ready to pull the trigger, he heard her voice calling his name. He could not tell if this was his sister guarding over him from the other side, or he was going crazy.

With a teary eye, he would remember one of the last sentences she ever told him.

_"If anything happens to me, please, continue living in peace. I don't want to see you regret any second of your life."_

That statement would talk him out of doing it, so he would slowly place his gun next to him, feeling weak.

"No…I have to live…for her…just as long as it lasts."

Konstantin said his prayers and got under the covers. They were cold and short, but he did not mind it. The sunrays hit his tired-looking face, and he felt the small warmth on his nose.

He planned to catch a very long and much-needed sleep, which he lacked. Closing his eyes, he drifted in a long, dreadful sleep, full of nightmares about his wasted reality and his haunted past.

The last thought was on his mind before losing his consciousness in a realm of dreams:

_**'I’ve never dreamed that I will lose you.'** _

_**..** _


End file.
